Manners are becoming a lost art. Many parents do not have them and therefore cannot teach them to their children. Schools attempt to teach manners, but with the number of students compared to the number of teachers, it is hard to reinforce manners in the entire student population. The main way for a child to learn not only what manners are, which behaviors are considered good manners, and when to display their manners, is for their parents to teach them.
Toddlers can learn to say the simple words, “please” and “thank you” if they are reminded to each time someone offers them something, or they ask for something. The more often they are shown good manners, the more likely they are to repeat the behavior.
Lead by example
Telling a child to be polite is one thing, being polite yourself is something else, but it is just as important that people around children have good manners in order for them to learn to use them all the time.
Define Manners
Having manners is pointless if you don't understand the purpose of them. Being nice because you're told you should be holds little weight if you don't understand the value of it. Manners by definition are a way of acting. Good manners are acting in a way that shows those around you that you value and respect them. When children are told not just to act this way, but why to, the lessons tend to stick a little better.
Point out good manners
When in public, if a child hears someone say please, or thank you, or behaves correctly in dealing with others point it out. Say “See, they have manners”, or if the behavior constitutes bad manners, ask the child what the person should have done.
If a child's attention is drawn to good manners in others, they will see that they aren't the only ones expected to have them. They will learn that it is a social behavior instead of a family one, and that they should have them at all times, not just when their parent is around to remind them.
Practice
With any behavior, the key to learning it to the point it becomes second nature is repetition. Teach your child that they are expected to show their manners at any time they are interacting with others. Each family meal time is a chance to reinforce the appropriate behavior.
Resources
When teaching manners, there are a variety of resources available, from Sesame Street episodes, to books, to Miss Manners. The local library may have an entire section of etiquette books available. Read books on manners with your child, watch a tape together, show that manners are important to society.
When teaching your child manners, it's important they understand why as much as how. If manners mean nothing to them they won't retain the information. On the other hand, if you can make them understand that it's not just an archaic tradition, that manners have real and current value; then they will be some of the politest kids in town.
No comments:
Post a Comment